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( this is kind of gross tbh. problems of non-lesbian orgy logistics )

OKAY. The section of my notes file with the heading "CAREFUL GANGBANG PLANNING" has gone from first kiss (#0) to final passing out (#6). All the numbers are full of schmoop and holding hands and tender stroking of people's hair and faces. All the fucking has been fully choreographed for all parties involved. Tomorrow, it gets written. It will be the most outstanding work of genius of my entire fandom career.

( addendum )

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I have some unreasonably terrifying decisions to make today and the next few days, and a couple that are reasonably terrifying, and an awful conversation to be had, and my body is still broken in every conceivable way, but: I had my first real yoga class today after almost ten months away, and it was wonderful, and same-sex marriage is legal in New York and the weddings will start in thirty days, and I listened to City Hall on the way home from yoga (for about the sixth time since last night) and sang along and cried and it's all pretty good, really. All things considered.

(I actually thought, until I looked up the lyrics last night, that the words were "the law that's gonna shine" which I think would make a slightly more interesting song, but it's basically perfect even so.)

Also, I have officially begun the process of maybe becoming a member of a nearby Reform congregation--information arrived in the mail today, I have an appointment to talk with someone on Monday--which is, uh. Not something I'm actually ready to talk about in any way! And completely dreading how difficult my parents are going to make this, primarily my dad who will probably never stop harassing me about it--not that he thinks of it that way, of course, he's just ~joking~--and of course if I go and then eventually decide to stop, I will NEVER hear the end of it, and basically it's just a very Hostile Environment around here. As usual. I may have to (attempt to) impose a 100% gag order on the topic and enforce it by leaving the room whenever he says something.

BUT THE POINT IS, despite all that and despite not wanting to talk about it with anyone except possibly a rabbi, it is another Good Thing. Now if I could just get a job, I would be happier than I've been in the past ten years.

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( adulthood is horrible )

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what have i been doing for the past hour? watching youtube videos of last night's celebrations in new york, of course! here are some:

some annoying text at the beginning, then a proposal and SO MUCH CHEERING

inside the Stonewall Inn as the votes are announced

inside and outside the Stonewall Inn during speeches, voting, and celebrations afterward, plus short clips of two couples talking to the person filming

more dancing

singing in the Senate

singing in the streets

if you stop this at 1:18, this is my favorite--several clips of couples celebrating and hugging and talking. Also, do NOT read the comments. Actually this user kind of creeps me out, I wish I could find this video uploaded by someone else, oh well. The first one and a third minutes are wonderful.

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OKAY NEVERMIND ALL THAT TODAY IS THE BEST DAY

today is the best day because I HAVE RESCUED MY PORN. Like a year ago one of my external hard drives died suddenly, but it was a tertiary drive with nothing important on it except some music, my classic Who episodes, and my video porn. And the first two of those things were pretty easy to replace, but the porn had been painstakingly assembled from long-vanished torrents and a couple hundred free sample clips, laboriously combed from the wilds of the internet, plus a few things various people had uploaded once upon a time. I was SO SAD but I didn't see much to do, because taking it in for possible data recovery would be both expensive and, well, it's my PORN DRIVE. I don't want to do that.

(Brief aside: I'm scanning through it now for any random non-porn files I might have forgotten and want to rescue, and I found some short but horrifying notes for an SPN mpreg fic. I sort of vaguely remember this and in my defense it was going to be a comedy, but...what the HELL. Maybe this is why the hard drive killed itself.)

Anyway: tonight for no particular reason I decided to try taking it apart and sticking the hard drive itself in this device I have that hooks up to the computer via USB and has slots for mounting naked drives. And it WORKED. Ninety-seven gigabytes of custom-selected pornography are once more ALL MINE. If only I lived alone, the next 72 hours would be entirely forfeit.