(no subject)

[some_stars]

So I'm poking around Amazon trying to find the cheapest menorah that won't set my apartment on fire--I have accepted that it's going to be hideously tacky and unpleasant, but I figure I might as well wait a few years until I can afford to buy a really nice one to have forever. So anyway, I'm just pulling up the ones under twenty bucks and reading the reviews, checking for any house-on-fire stories, and I find this:

Very traditional and a nice addition, especially if you have children. Affordable and it looks very nice. Will not replace grandmothers, but it is a good value for this item.

After staring at this for a full minute, I think it's an apostrophe issue, but I had to get through a few highly unsettling possibilities before this one occurred to me. ("Will not replace grandmothers...as a receptacle for lit candles? omg 'Deborah M' WHAT IS WRONG WITH YOUR FAMILY.")

Comments

[laurajv]

i am picturing a row of plump old babcias like my grandfather's mother, heads tilted back, mouths open, pillar candles sticking out.

i'm going to have nightmares.

why my brain didn't supply me, instead, with a row of versions of my paternal grandmother (think patty & selma from the simpsons and you pretty much have her down), smoking candles made to look like cigarettes, I don't know. that's not nightmare fodder, that's funny. THANKS, BRAIN.

[some_stars]

yeaaahhh pretty much. punctuation: sometimes important!

[minoanmiss]

I am steadfastly ignoring the grandmas and candles mental image inclined to ask my roommates if we have a child-made menorah we could send you. (No promises, tho.)

[some_stars]

Aw, thank you! Don't worry about me, though, I'm just going to ask my mom to mail me my old one that I didn't bring with me because it's 50% wax by volume. But it won't fall over!