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a brief update: i'm not doing too well, depression-wise, but i'm starting the ketamine again next week--this time at a higher dosage, and i'm going to stick with it--so hopefully that will do something. besides make me throw up, which it will definitely do. i seriously cannot overstate how foul this stuff tastes, to the point where i genuinely wonder why they didn't do something about it?? like it's a nasal spray, but you taste nasal sprays, that's just how they work. anyway i'm hoping it also affects my brain chemistry in a positive way.

i also injured my wrist trying to exercise, which feels extremely unjust, and i had to go to urgent care bc it got quite bad but they did x-rays and found nothing, so i'm currently on day 3 of taking 500 mg naproxen twice a day, which is doing wonders for the pain, at least. i don't have my range of motion back yet and can't put weight on it, but hopefully that will come back, and if not i am to go see a regular doctor and get more scans.

those are pretty much the only developments, i've been spending most of my time being sad and not cleaning the house. i did cook the best thing i've ever made, which was fun, and i will share the recipe at some point when i have the energy.

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I hope the ketamine does good, and that you find solid things to hold on to in the fog of depression.

Just wanted to send sympathy and say FUCKING BRAINS.

i also injured my wrist trying to exercise, which feels extremely unjust

Aaaargh yes. It happens but it always feels so unfair.