fifty frenchmen can't be wrong (![[personal profile]](https://www.dreamwidth.org/img/silk/identity/user.png)
some_stars) wrote2011-09-28 11:32 pm
some_stars) wrote2011-09-28 11:32 pm
I really need a Jew icon
L'shanah tovah! My first High Holy Days as a cognizant adult have begun. The timing is pretty great, because I could really use something external and immovable to focus on right now. Whether or not my brain will implode over the whole "examine yourself and all your flaws and failures" aspect remains to be seen, but it was helpful to dress up and go out tonight, even if the service itself was sort of underwhelming. Mostly because I was unfamiliar with it, and even the familiar bits were unfamiliar because of the different prayer book that didn't have transliterations. But it felt really nice to sit in that huge room completely packed with people, even though I didn't know any of them and they all knew each other, just because we were all there for the same reason and--it was just nice.
And then on the way out my Temple Buddy found me--I don't know what to call him, I guess we're friends? He's the college kid (nineteen, as I found out a couple weeks ago and immediately felt so old and so immature at the same time) who was new on the same day I was new, and someone introduced us, and now we sit together every Saturday, but we don't talk outside of that context or even have each other's numbers or whatever. But he's a pretty neat guy, very much like a genderswapped version of me at nineteen, except cute. So he found me and we talked and that was nice, and then on the extremely short shuttle bus ride back to the overflow parking garage, the lights went out for some reason and it was dark outside so everything was pitch black, and I had one of my alarming and unpredictable moments of actual meatspace bisexuality. Just for a second, though. I blame the allure of darkness and closely-packed bus seats.
Objectively things are not going too great--I'm falling behind on basically everything and feeling nigh-uncontrollable urges to buy expensive cosmetics and jewelry (anxiety, not mania--obsessive and undiscriminating acquisitiveness is one of my brain's last-ditch self-soothing tactics, because surely THIS shiny thing will stop me feeling like everything is slipping away I will lose everything)--but I feel sort of okay right now, at least for the moment. And I roasted some chicken parts, that always makes me feel better.
And then on the way out my Temple Buddy found me--I don't know what to call him, I guess we're friends? He's the college kid (nineteen, as I found out a couple weeks ago and immediately felt so old and so immature at the same time) who was new on the same day I was new, and someone introduced us, and now we sit together every Saturday, but we don't talk outside of that context or even have each other's numbers or whatever. But he's a pretty neat guy, very much like a genderswapped version of me at nineteen, except cute. So he found me and we talked and that was nice, and then on the extremely short shuttle bus ride back to the overflow parking garage, the lights went out for some reason and it was dark outside so everything was pitch black, and I had one of my alarming and unpredictable moments of actual meatspace bisexuality. Just for a second, though. I blame the allure of darkness and closely-packed bus seats.
Objectively things are not going too great--I'm falling behind on basically everything and feeling nigh-uncontrollable urges to buy expensive cosmetics and jewelry (anxiety, not mania--obsessive and undiscriminating acquisitiveness is one of my brain's last-ditch self-soothing tactics, because surely THIS shiny thing will stop me feeling like everything is slipping away I will lose everything)--but I feel sort of okay right now, at least for the moment. And I roasted some chicken parts, that always makes me feel better.
no subject
no subject
*apples* *honey*