DAMN YOU COMICS

[some_stars]

STOP BEING AWESOME

STOP IT

I have things I need to DO with my life, I cannot spend entire days plowing through backissues and I especially cannot start reading new ones no matter how deliciously fangirlservicey they are (fuck you, Captain America 620, FUCK YOU, I DON'T TRUST YOU, I'VE BEEN HURT BEFORE), and I just, I can't do this again, it will ruin my life and break my heart, AGAIN. They're already starting to break my heart, because Marvel and DC have no discernible difference as far as their mind-boggling misogyny, particularly the post-backlash expressions thereof (superhero comics in the eighties: surprisingly decent on this front, in a limited and painfully dated kind of way).

But no fandom has ever been as perfect and satisfying to me as comics--well, except Doctor Who, nearly. Apparently my heart is only truly happy when I have a literal cast of, at minimum, dozens to play with, preferably over the span of at least 40 years. This is such an incredibly inconvenient preference to have when combined with my obsessive completism and just general obsessiveness. The amount of shit I've been downloading is just plain terrifying, and so far I've been limiting myself strictly to Avengers-related things and characters, but X-Men stuff is next and that's like its own frighteningly gigantic universe and I am not ready for my life to be eaten again! Except obviously I am, I hate my life right now, that's why I'm diving into my dozens of gigabytes of old comics and refusing to come up. But this cannot end well.

Comments

[derryderrydown]

Have you read the ones where Rogers and Stark are married?

[some_stars]

I thought that was "all of them." Except the ones where they're divorced.

[derryderrydown]

Actually, legally married. Stark got married in the armour. With a veil attached to the helmet.

Admittedly, Tony is Natasha in that verse, but it still counts.

[some_stars]

...goodness. I can't say I'm very surprised.

[lilacsigil]

DAMN YOU COMICS sums up my life since 1987 pretty damn well. You're not the only obsessive completist X-Men fan out there, though - some brave people have put together the complete chronological X-Men, every single issue in canon order, even the wacky 90s miniseries and the random 00s one-shots. (I managed to confine my completist tendencies to a few particular series, but I think if I'd started collecting in the internet era I would have been doomed.)

But there will be heart-breaking. Yes.

[some_stars]

I saw those torrents, and bookmarked them with a deep sense of doomed dread. Soon I will give in and start downloading them. Although, my obsessive completism isn't quite that bad because I freely skip really bad parts, or really old stuff that's not actually good--but I still feel the need to have it all.