some_stars | (no subject)

brief emergence from salt mines to share a moment of rage from the NYT food section, which I was reading over pizza just now: an interesting interview/article on Christina Tosi, the pastry chef behind Momofuku Milk Bar, that ends its penultimate paragraph with an observation on how her central warehouse "was filled with female pastry cooks" and asks, "Why do women seem to gravitate toward pastry?"

I mean. Really? You're a food writer, presumably extremely familiar with the industry, you interview chefs--and you think this is some kind of intelligent and/or charming question to ask? To ask Ms. Tosi, specifically; the last paragraph is her answer. I just--it's so--"Gosh, I wonder why successful women chefs always end up doing dessert! Surely this trend is entirely volitional and reflects some fascinating, adorable mystery about the female mind, and does not in any way suggest uncomfortable facts about the restaurant industry!" What the fuck, you know? It came out of nowhere and now I hate everything.

--there was a whole explanatory self-disclaimery paragraph here that I deleted, because it was ridiculous, but it did contain the phrase "women being forced into pastry," which I wanted to preserve. Primarily because it sounds so much like a bizarre porn subgenre that I've convinced myself a noncon-female-pastry-envelopment video trading community really does exist somewhere on the internet. Possibly thought into being by me, just now.

Flat | Top-Level Comments Only

I've convinced myself a noncon-female-pastry-envelopment video trading community really does exist somewhere on the internet

Rule 34, baby.

I know! It's got to be out there--I can even imagine exactly what kinds of meta-fetishes it would appeal to. Like, clearly there'd be a lot of crossover with fans of soft vore, to say nothing of the food fetish and messy fetish aspects, or the people whose forced-into-pastry porn ends in baking and are more in it for the cannibalism.

Now, on the other hand, the consensual empanada-ing of women is something I can see enjoying. Imagine, say, Kate Winslet sighing happily as she's lovingly wrapped in puff pastry and dusted with powdered sugar.

Oh, I certainly would never deny the erotic appeal of an envelopment-type kink. Food kinks are somewhat more of an intellectual understanding, for me, but adding Kate Winslet would help a lot. *g*

At a certain point, you pass over from a weird sex fetish into spa stuff.

I can definitely imagine an immersion in pastry dough being marketed as a spa treatment. The youthening effects of gluten proteins on collagen! Or something! The skin-softening butters! (Well, butter, anyway.) The gentle-but-effective exfoliation of the baking powder!

... I had a sensible comment to make, but now all I have are daydreams of Kate Winslet swathed in pastry and sprinkled with sugar.

You'd have to be pretty careful with caramel sauce as a hot wax substitute, but hey, with practice, why not?

--there was a whole explanatory self-disclaimery paragraph here that I deleted, because it was ridiculous, but it did contain the phrase "women being forced into pastry," which I wanted to preserve. Primarily because it sounds so much like a bizarre porn subgenre that I've convinced myself a noncon-female-pastry-envelopment video trading community really does exist somewhere on the internet. Possibly thought into being by me, just now.

ahahahaha. I don't know about the paragraph you deleted, but this one was GOLD.

Now I feel kind of bad for calling it bizarre, because the more I think about it the more clearly it seems to be a slight variation on all kinds of fetishes I totally understand. Really, in a way, there's a noncon-female-pastry-envelopment fetishist in all of us, you know?

I definitely agree!

metaquotes?

granted!

Done!

Here via

metaquotes. Subscribing on the grounds that between this and the Cosmo sporking, you at least intermittently write things that leave my screen in danger of beverages, and "at least intermittent" is all one can really ask for!