fifty frenchmen can't be wrong (![[personal profile]](https://www.dreamwidth.org/img/silk/identity/user.png)
some_stars) wrote2011-02-07 06:25 pm
some_stars) wrote2011-02-07 06:25 pm
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You know, I kind of got used to there not being any more Glee episodes, getting into it over the break. And now I am sort of half-dreading watching this new one--I've actually been putting it off all day. But it can't be that bad, right? I mean, it can't be more horrific than the Christmas episode, and I made it through that without losing all my conflicted love for anything remotely to do with the show. Ugh, I just don't want to start hating it entirely because then all my WIPs will wither and die. But I can avoid it no longer. There may be some enraged frothing here later tonight.
ACTUALLY. you know what. against every single better instinct and rational impulse that I possess, I'm liveblogging this shit. THE TENSION IS TOO MUCH, okay.
the opening is annoying as hell, because i caught one of the showrunners' comments about how they filled it with boobs and sexiness to lure post-superbowl viewers. and the male cheerleaders aren't even wearing their attractive (but not revealing, of course, but still: hot) male cheerleader uniforms anymore. and sue's lines contained, like, one mild chuckle. NOT GOOD.
football game: awkward writing, but w/e, the karofsky shit is coming to a head, better sooner than later so: fine. and i do love how coach beiste isn't--i mean, she's clearly a good person, but her primary concern isn't being supportive to the heroes, it's winning fucking football games. and yelling at everyone who doesn't, and also yelling at the guys bringing their non-football drama into the game. IL BEISTE BEST.
...so they basically just gave up on the entire concept of "pacing" for this one, didn't they? hopefully they'll at least pretend to pay attention to it again when they get back to regular, non-spectacle, non-extra-length episodes. but i wouldn't count on it.
suddenly, at 06.55, i'm sexually attracted to beiste for the first time. she's wearing the exact same thing as always, idk what's going on, but i hope it continues :9
will is super frenetic in this scene. i don't like it. i mean, i don't like him, ever, but he's extra annoying right now.
oh my GOD, i am so SICK of this "bullying comes from ignorance" shit. i mean, they're not playing it 100% straight, but they're not letting anyone say outright that it's BULLSHIT, either. --also finn, wtf, sam has just as much right as you to fight back against these assholes. not that either of you should be throwing down, but if you're gonna.
"I'm not singing no showtunes. That is the music of my oppressors." you guys, azimio always gets the best lines. in a douchetastic horrible person way. <3 And, uh, how has this scene gone on so long and neither of the adults has noticed that artie is covered in slushie? i mean, of course will doesn't notice, but. just, ugh.
THIS IS SUCH A DAMN TRAIN WRECK. also, I...I'm kind of not sure why rachel and puck were working on something? considering the various tensions that have been occurring? this is either going to be deliberately awkward and catastrophic, or another instance of the showrunners getting bored with continuity.
okay, so not...bored with continuity, since she exchanges very significant looks with finn and he seems distressed. just. WHAT, i don't even KNOW. also, why is beiste...singing along...THIS FUCKING SHOW.
but i do appreciate getting to hear mark salling's voice! especially since he really doesn't have much else to offer besides being eye candy. they should have him singing way more instead of trying to make him act. this whole number is so ridic, though--like, so NOT a good choice for wooing asshole jocks, and so inappropriate considering their personal lives, and at first i thought rachel was singing TO finn, and then for a second i thought PUCK was singing to finn, and...y'all, i don't even know, seriously.
AND ARTIE IS STILL COVERED IN SLUSHIE.
so: finn does not like this. santana, intriguingly, also does not like this. there's supposed to be some brittana in this ep, for which i CANNOT FREAKING WAIT.
sk;dhgwpriguhregk puck is trying to woo finn back to being BFF with him...by means of Top Gun references. they just HAND it to me, i swear. (also by means of some of the worst-delivered lines in the history of this show. or any show.) --oh my GOD, his face when rachel asks him to do the duet, i cannot deal with mark salling's inability to act. it's like he somehow has less than none. he's an anti-actor, and obviously they've been giving puck less to do this season because they realized that if he ever comes in direct contact with a real actor, the universe will explode. (i still adore puck, of course. i like them big and stupid and not very realistic.)
BRITTANY ILU. "i don't want to die yet :( at least not until one tree hill gets canceled :("
FAIL, SHOW, FAIL. sue's insane wrath outside figgins' office is only funny ONCE. no, not even if you increase the destructiveness of her rampage. NO. STOP. I think i'm just going to consign this entire episode to the "weird, not all that great, mysteriously-somehow-filmed fanfic" box.
finn jumping ~nobly~ to quinn's defense when rachel snipes at her is so adorably transparent. like, speaking of almost-thirty men who are actually GOOD at playing seventeen.
will. WILL. for the love of GOD, you do not base your pedagogical approach on what happens in a FILIPINO PRISON. ...the sad part of course is that this is completely in character.
oh my god mike, i am in LOVE with you. IN LOVE. LOOOOOOVE. ...this being a response to his zombie impersonation at about 18.06, of course.
...what. the. fuck. if they actually try to have karofsky join new directions and it's not a total disaster (on HIS part, not as in "everyone gets a lesson in forgiveness") i will fucking quit the show, i swear to god. i don't care how much inner conflict you have or how much you hate yourself, you don't get forgiven just by saying you want to change. maybe on a much, much better show i'd trust them to explore a character like this and his possible redemption, but on Glee? jesus christ no. just have him come out and go learn to be a better person somewhere BESIDES the one safe(-ish) place of the people he only a moment ago stopped tormenting. they owe him NOTHING.
YES YES YES SAM-FINN SHOWDOWN. i mean, i kind of wish it wasn't prompted by sam defending quinn's honor, but hopefully it will move beyond that. maybe there will also be wrasslin'! --LOOOOOL quinn agrees with me: "this is kind of hot, actually." IL HER SO MUCH.
wait, no, this is just embarrassing. i mean--adorable! but embarrassing. AND QUINN AGREES WITH ME ABOUT THIS TOO, I WANT TO MARRY HER SO MUCH RIGHT NOW
and now we pause for an out of freaking nowhere oldies number in full zombie makeup! with zombie choreography! and it's going to just...go on for a while! apparently!
okay, so i have to dial back my immediate REVULSION at finn sharing a bro-handshake-back-pat with karofsky, and remind myself finn doesn't know the entire full extent of what he's done. but he knows a LOT of it, so some revulsion still remains.
so they're just...not gonna wash the makeup off, then? because they all really want to develop cystic acne? and i love, i UNIRONICALLY LOVE that the lead hockey player has hockey hair. of course he does. (i also love, with more irony, the way that only max adler seems to remember karofsky used to be on the hockey team. you can see him reacting with that in mind! it's just....not in the script even a little. THIS SHOW.)
however, okay: i really like, with minimal criticism, the guys' post-slushy scene. everybody's reactions make sense, max adler is freaking amazing as always--you really get this feeling that karofsky's been letting himself get into this whole team-bonding, singing-dancing, not-constantly-panicking-every-single-second thing, and been able to keep from worrying and doubting it for a brief window--and then when he's faced with the consequences he's not just reacting to being slushied, he's also so angry at himself for believing even briefly that he could have that freedom. and i really like the way finn and the guys react to his anger, first amused and kind of satisfied but not vicious, then alarmed, then confused and frustrated when the whole team walks out.
also, straight up shallow reading-into-things moment: i really, really enjoy the way puck looks to finn for his reaction when the guys walk out, focusing on him, and only after a couple seconds looks toward beiste. it TOTALLY supports my preferred fanon about their relationship.
--so we're just gonna jump right into the madness that is Bills Bills Bills with no context, then? SURE, WHATEVER, BRING IT ON, GLEE. i no longer expect anything from you besides ridiculous spectacle. anyway, i already had my reactions to this when it was posted a few days ago, now i'm just in a general state of "...you are all so embarrassing and yet i adore you, WHY ARE BOYS." also, wes is super hot in this one. and i love the way it sounds. (and, okay, i also love the way kurt breaks off singing and giggles when blaine is all upons him making silly faces. i'm really very easy.)
...well. that's not the direction i expected them to go. this will teach me to read so much speculation before anything actually airs, because it seemed SO CLEAR that blaine was going to be portrayed as overconfident(because BBB was delightful, but not exactly "off the hook" or even remotely a showstopper), and kurt would be all "...that's really cute. have you guys seen a regionals competition, like ever?" or at least silently conflicted and doubtful, rather than entirely subscribing to blaine's confidence. but then, this show doesn't seem to understand how good any of its numbers are or aren't, and it's still utterly unclear just how much their performances are judged on dancing, quality of singing, or vague feeling of big-ness. so probably we're not supposed to think he's being overconfident at all.
ALSO, i like them hanging out with kurt's mckinley friends. it's nice. kind of confusing that it's presented as something normal that's happened before, but: nice.
sdaglkwhre THEY LIVE TOGETHER, WHAT. jesus christ, show, you need to get your act together regarding WHERE KURT LIVES NOW. and where your imaginary version of westerville is, and whether dalton is a boarding school or not, and just--LIKING OF THIS SCENE: REVOKED. (except for blaine's "warm milk? really?" because that was wonderful.)
oh dear god, i can see the ridiculous antics on the horizon. no, Glee, I am NOT going to accept that a patchwork, undermanned football team half-composed of people who have never played a single game before can win against a team you've made a point of telling us is really good. I'M NOT, DAMMIT, I DON'T CARE HOW CUTE YOU MAKE IT.
and honestly, just, that scene was so utterly bloodless. it had a couple good lines, but out of those four people, the only one who seemed to have any genuine emotion toward any of the others was kurt towards blaine, in a background kind of way. not kurt towards, say, MERCEDES, or rachel. not either of them towards him. not either of them towards blaine, not that they'd be BFF with him but there was nothing, it was all just--dead air. it felt like they were cartoons being voiced by four people in four separate rooms, unaware of the others' existence. I mean--the plot and its machinations? really, really, REALLY not the reason i put up with this stupid show. the chemistry and feeling between the characters is its ONLY real draw. and they seem to be giving up on that, and it's not just this scene either.
finn's facepalm is the most beautiful facepalm i've ever seen. I AGREE COMPLETELY, FINN.
LAUREN ILU LAUREN MARRY ME PLEASE YOU ARE THE BEST THAT EVER WAS. in a pinch, i'll take ashley fink, if necessary. but really: LAUREN.
oh fuck my life, tina in football getup and scowling is the most insanely attractive thing i have seen all week. TINA BE BUTCH AND MEAN ALWAYS PLEASE. puck's concern and fondness for rachel is also pretty damn attractive, though not in the way where i ship them or anything, because lol no.
sexual magnetism not withstanding, however: i can't watch this. oh my god, i can't watch this, because there's still fifteen minutes left so it's clearly going to go terribly, terribly wrong.
i only support tina's desire to actually play for real because Glee is so utterly divorced from reality that it's probably going to turn out to be what saves them. and i kind of resent this show for making me think, "yeah, you jerks, why AREN'T you letting the untrained, unexperienced, physically unprepared people put themselves out there for angry 250-pound assholes to hurl themselves violently on top of?"
hmm. well, i admit, that was moderately more nuanced than i gave them credit for. (also i love tina so much i cannot even deal with it.) i'll suspend further judgment for the next five minutes and see what happens.
OMG, OMG, OMG, more finn and puck friendship/trust, MORE TOP GUN REFERENCES. i'm also delighted with finn's trust in sam and sam's "...whoa, okay" reaction to it. but not QUITE as delighted, because i don't spend nearly as much time imagining them in forever love with each other. (although, i mean, depending how the rest of the season goes. i'm always open to new pairings!)
"Sue doesn't care about you guys! She's fine killing Brittany!" reaction from the girls: small, solemn nods. and, awww, finn and quinn friendship moment! i hope to GOD the writers don't actually try and hook them up again, but i really, really love this kind of relationship that they're developing here. the one where finn can say, "I know you, and you're strong enough to do this," and it's not presumptuous or manipulative, just true. (however, i hope that wasn't supposed to be the promised brittana, because oh HELL no, you can't put me off with them just having lines in the same scene as each other.)
puck's motivational arguing with the rest of the team: not exactly a masterpiece of writing, but fine. and i always enjoy looking at his face. and azimio, of course, gets to be amazing again, because that is what he does.
KURT'S LITTLE DANCE IN THE STANDS. OH MY GOD YES. so, yeah, the whole karofsky-joining-in thing...not exactly subtle, but interesting. he still hasn't really made a CHOICE. he watched, he saw that people weren't laughing at them, and THAT made it okay to join in as he obviously wanted to. still doesn't mean anything for how he'll react when people are laughing at him.
obligatory moment of discontent: the guys' zombie makeup is fucking amazing. the girls' makeup is...not even the slightest bit gross, and entirely flattering. (except lauren, lauren gets to be a gross zombie because she has no sex appeal to preserve.)
i just can't figure out how i feel about this direction with karofsky. it's such an incredibly fine line to walk between examining his issues versus woobifying him and dismissing all the pain he's inflicted, and they're really wobbling back and forth on it.
BEING ALL WEIRD AND CONFUSING IS NOT A VALID FOOTBALL-WINNING STRATEGY.
so that Diane Sawyer interlude was, like, sue's dream sequence, right? RIGHT? it wasn't supposed to be real, right? LIE TO ME IF YOU MUST. what the damn hell.
NO NO NO NO NO NO NO NO NO JESUS CHRIST NO. QUINN REMOVE YOUR MOUTH FROM FINN'S IMMEDIATELY. fuck, i don't even know how he's going to react--i hit pause instantly--but i am so depressed and pissed off that they did this to quinn. that's such a goddamn copout from actually WRITING her as a PERSON. but no, she's a girl, her reaction to her ex being nice to her is to fall in love with him again, because that's what girls do. they don't have complex feelings and they don't have male friends they don't want to marry. they just fall in love. oh, and they cheat on their current boyfriends, because girls don't care about people's feelings when there is romance to be had. or about their own personal integrity. obviously.
god dammit, it was so close to ending on a good note, too. this FUCKING SHOW, seriously.
--and honestly, you know what else it is? every time karofsky's onscreen, no matter how 100% fantastic max adler is being, in the back of my mind i keep thinking "they chose to invent this storyline, foreground this minor character, and spend this time on him INSTEAD OF spending it on tina or mercedes or mike or santana, or even on something coherent and non-romantic for quinn or sam." and yeah, it's meant a ton of screentime for kurt, but it's not like this is the only storyline he could possibly have been given(like, he could have had one that WASN'T about being gay, idk, just throwing that out there). there were plenty of characters already there, most of them women and/or COC, who they just didn't even bother coming up with meaningful (or ANY) stories for. and knowing that kind of ruins everything.
FINAL ANALYSIS. things I will instaforget about this episode and erase from my canon:
1. kurt living at home, wtf, that makes absolutely zero sense. i will grant that he goes home on weekends, but only if that started after 2x09. i oppose this not just because it upsets all my ideas, but because it's STUPID, and raises all kinds of questions about why he's still being kept so isolated from the mckinley plots(and PEOPLE, mostly). Basically: this canon is stupid, and I refuse to acknowledge it. I feel like if more people took this approach (besides comics fandom, which has mastered it) fandom would be a happier place.
2. i WANT to erase quinn making a move on finn, but i suspect that's going to come up a lot. fuck.
3. sue being pointlessly insane even by sue standards. let the joke rest, guys. she doesn't actually want to KILL her students.
4. santana not sticking up for brittany even the tiniest bit(until quinn leads them in quitting).
5. FUCK, YOU GUYS, I really want to ignore quinn kissing finn, because i loved her SO MUCH this episode, she was just so amazing and funny and strong (but not cardboard cutout ~strong female character~, she was a PERSON) and also, i really really really wanted her and finn to be FRIENDS. i was hoping for it so hard, it could have been so epic. like, one of the show's best friendships ever. FUCKING FUCK, why do i let glee have my heart even for a moment, i should really know better.
things i will keep:
1. kurt bringing finn warm milk. but on the WEEKENDS. when he's not AT BOARDING SCHOOL.
2. although it kills me, finn's willingness to welcome karofsky and bro-hug him. it's disturbing but not exactly OOC(although not being willing also wouldn't have been OOC). finn wants people to get along, he wants things to work out, and while he is very emotionally intelligent a lot of the time he's also so naive, and has trouble imagining how other people might feel. plus, a fair amount of his anger at karofsky at the beginning of this episode is clearly--well, to me, i admit it doesn't make it out of subtext--finn projecting his feeling of failure to protect kurt or keep him from leaving(and perhaps his feeling of being rejected by kurt). so forgiving karofsky would make him feel better about himself.
3. karofsky's whole thing where, yes, he has all these sensitive emotions and they really do interest me, but the one feeling he doesn't seem to have even a little is GUILT. everything he feels is about himself and his fears and desires, there's so sign he even feels bad about what he did to kurt and everyone else. i think this is interesting, and makes a lot of sense, and i hope they don't forget about it.
4. eventually, when i see how the finn/quinn bullshit shakes out and how to go about pretending it didn't happen, i will be keeping their nascent friendship.
things i will mentally write that they NEVER BOTHERED TO FREAKING SHOW US:
1. rachel meeting blaine for the first time, come on, that should have been epic
2. burt and carole meeting blaine for the first time, SEE ABOVE
3. kurt's APPARENT previous coffee dates with mckinley friends, since this didn't seem to be a new thing, although i could totally play it as their first or second coffee date and everyone was just distracted by tragedy
4. kurt's reaction to karofsky joining the halftime show, and finn bro-hugging him, and basically to ALL OF THAT, you know, like maybe he might have a feeling or two about the situation? PERHAPS
4a. actually, you know what, since they made a point of highlighting that burt was there, how about HIS reaction to finn being buddies with karofsky? I THINK HE MIGHT HAVE A FEELING TOO.
ugh, ugh, WHY IS GLEE, WHY DO I WATCH THIS SHIT, why can't i escaaaaaaaape. also, why is glee fandom, which is already overflowing with "omg karofsky is so cuuuute and sexy"--i mean, it was even before this episode, but now people are acting like his decision to dance at halftime was some kind of step toward redemption, rather than a moment of private character development with absolutely ZERO bearing on any questions of atonement, forgiveness, or making up for what he's done.
ACTUALLY. you know what. against every single better instinct and rational impulse that I possess, I'm liveblogging this shit. THE TENSION IS TOO MUCH, okay.
the opening is annoying as hell, because i caught one of the showrunners' comments about how they filled it with boobs and sexiness to lure post-superbowl viewers. and the male cheerleaders aren't even wearing their attractive (but not revealing, of course, but still: hot) male cheerleader uniforms anymore. and sue's lines contained, like, one mild chuckle. NOT GOOD.
football game: awkward writing, but w/e, the karofsky shit is coming to a head, better sooner than later so: fine. and i do love how coach beiste isn't--i mean, she's clearly a good person, but her primary concern isn't being supportive to the heroes, it's winning fucking football games. and yelling at everyone who doesn't, and also yelling at the guys bringing their non-football drama into the game. IL BEISTE BEST.
...so they basically just gave up on the entire concept of "pacing" for this one, didn't they? hopefully they'll at least pretend to pay attention to it again when they get back to regular, non-spectacle, non-extra-length episodes. but i wouldn't count on it.
suddenly, at 06.55, i'm sexually attracted to beiste for the first time. she's wearing the exact same thing as always, idk what's going on, but i hope it continues :9
will is super frenetic in this scene. i don't like it. i mean, i don't like him, ever, but he's extra annoying right now.
oh my GOD, i am so SICK of this "bullying comes from ignorance" shit. i mean, they're not playing it 100% straight, but they're not letting anyone say outright that it's BULLSHIT, either. --also finn, wtf, sam has just as much right as you to fight back against these assholes. not that either of you should be throwing down, but if you're gonna.
"I'm not singing no showtunes. That is the music of my oppressors." you guys, azimio always gets the best lines. in a douchetastic horrible person way. <3 And, uh, how has this scene gone on so long and neither of the adults has noticed that artie is covered in slushie? i mean, of course will doesn't notice, but. just, ugh.
THIS IS SUCH A DAMN TRAIN WRECK. also, I...I'm kind of not sure why rachel and puck were working on something? considering the various tensions that have been occurring? this is either going to be deliberately awkward and catastrophic, or another instance of the showrunners getting bored with continuity.
okay, so not...bored with continuity, since she exchanges very significant looks with finn and he seems distressed. just. WHAT, i don't even KNOW. also, why is beiste...singing along...THIS FUCKING SHOW.
but i do appreciate getting to hear mark salling's voice! especially since he really doesn't have much else to offer besides being eye candy. they should have him singing way more instead of trying to make him act. this whole number is so ridic, though--like, so NOT a good choice for wooing asshole jocks, and so inappropriate considering their personal lives, and at first i thought rachel was singing TO finn, and then for a second i thought PUCK was singing to finn, and...y'all, i don't even know, seriously.
AND ARTIE IS STILL COVERED IN SLUSHIE.
so: finn does not like this. santana, intriguingly, also does not like this. there's supposed to be some brittana in this ep, for which i CANNOT FREAKING WAIT.
sk;dhgwpriguhregk puck is trying to woo finn back to being BFF with him...by means of Top Gun references. they just HAND it to me, i swear. (also by means of some of the worst-delivered lines in the history of this show. or any show.) --oh my GOD, his face when rachel asks him to do the duet, i cannot deal with mark salling's inability to act. it's like he somehow has less than none. he's an anti-actor, and obviously they've been giving puck less to do this season because they realized that if he ever comes in direct contact with a real actor, the universe will explode. (i still adore puck, of course. i like them big and stupid and not very realistic.)
BRITTANY ILU. "i don't want to die yet :( at least not until one tree hill gets canceled :("
FAIL, SHOW, FAIL. sue's insane wrath outside figgins' office is only funny ONCE. no, not even if you increase the destructiveness of her rampage. NO. STOP. I think i'm just going to consign this entire episode to the "weird, not all that great, mysteriously-somehow-filmed fanfic" box.
finn jumping ~nobly~ to quinn's defense when rachel snipes at her is so adorably transparent. like, speaking of almost-thirty men who are actually GOOD at playing seventeen.
will. WILL. for the love of GOD, you do not base your pedagogical approach on what happens in a FILIPINO PRISON. ...the sad part of course is that this is completely in character.
oh my god mike, i am in LOVE with you. IN LOVE. LOOOOOOVE. ...this being a response to his zombie impersonation at about 18.06, of course.
...what. the. fuck. if they actually try to have karofsky join new directions and it's not a total disaster (on HIS part, not as in "everyone gets a lesson in forgiveness") i will fucking quit the show, i swear to god. i don't care how much inner conflict you have or how much you hate yourself, you don't get forgiven just by saying you want to change. maybe on a much, much better show i'd trust them to explore a character like this and his possible redemption, but on Glee? jesus christ no. just have him come out and go learn to be a better person somewhere BESIDES the one safe(-ish) place of the people he only a moment ago stopped tormenting. they owe him NOTHING.
YES YES YES SAM-FINN SHOWDOWN. i mean, i kind of wish it wasn't prompted by sam defending quinn's honor, but hopefully it will move beyond that. maybe there will also be wrasslin'! --LOOOOOL quinn agrees with me: "this is kind of hot, actually." IL HER SO MUCH.
wait, no, this is just embarrassing. i mean--adorable! but embarrassing. AND QUINN AGREES WITH ME ABOUT THIS TOO, I WANT TO MARRY HER SO MUCH RIGHT NOW
and now we pause for an out of freaking nowhere oldies number in full zombie makeup! with zombie choreography! and it's going to just...go on for a while! apparently!
okay, so i have to dial back my immediate REVULSION at finn sharing a bro-handshake-back-pat with karofsky, and remind myself finn doesn't know the entire full extent of what he's done. but he knows a LOT of it, so some revulsion still remains.
so they're just...not gonna wash the makeup off, then? because they all really want to develop cystic acne? and i love, i UNIRONICALLY LOVE that the lead hockey player has hockey hair. of course he does. (i also love, with more irony, the way that only max adler seems to remember karofsky used to be on the hockey team. you can see him reacting with that in mind! it's just....not in the script even a little. THIS SHOW.)
however, okay: i really like, with minimal criticism, the guys' post-slushy scene. everybody's reactions make sense, max adler is freaking amazing as always--you really get this feeling that karofsky's been letting himself get into this whole team-bonding, singing-dancing, not-constantly-panicking-every-single-second thing, and been able to keep from worrying and doubting it for a brief window--and then when he's faced with the consequences he's not just reacting to being slushied, he's also so angry at himself for believing even briefly that he could have that freedom. and i really like the way finn and the guys react to his anger, first amused and kind of satisfied but not vicious, then alarmed, then confused and frustrated when the whole team walks out.
also, straight up shallow reading-into-things moment: i really, really enjoy the way puck looks to finn for his reaction when the guys walk out, focusing on him, and only after a couple seconds looks toward beiste. it TOTALLY supports my preferred fanon about their relationship.
--so we're just gonna jump right into the madness that is Bills Bills Bills with no context, then? SURE, WHATEVER, BRING IT ON, GLEE. i no longer expect anything from you besides ridiculous spectacle. anyway, i already had my reactions to this when it was posted a few days ago, now i'm just in a general state of "...you are all so embarrassing and yet i adore you, WHY ARE BOYS." also, wes is super hot in this one. and i love the way it sounds. (and, okay, i also love the way kurt breaks off singing and giggles when blaine is all upons him making silly faces. i'm really very easy.)
...well. that's not the direction i expected them to go. this will teach me to read so much speculation before anything actually airs, because it seemed SO CLEAR that blaine was going to be portrayed as overconfident(because BBB was delightful, but not exactly "off the hook" or even remotely a showstopper), and kurt would be all "...that's really cute. have you guys seen a regionals competition, like ever?" or at least silently conflicted and doubtful, rather than entirely subscribing to blaine's confidence. but then, this show doesn't seem to understand how good any of its numbers are or aren't, and it's still utterly unclear just how much their performances are judged on dancing, quality of singing, or vague feeling of big-ness. so probably we're not supposed to think he's being overconfident at all.
ALSO, i like them hanging out with kurt's mckinley friends. it's nice. kind of confusing that it's presented as something normal that's happened before, but: nice.
sdaglkwhre THEY LIVE TOGETHER, WHAT. jesus christ, show, you need to get your act together regarding WHERE KURT LIVES NOW. and where your imaginary version of westerville is, and whether dalton is a boarding school or not, and just--LIKING OF THIS SCENE: REVOKED. (except for blaine's "warm milk? really?" because that was wonderful.)
oh dear god, i can see the ridiculous antics on the horizon. no, Glee, I am NOT going to accept that a patchwork, undermanned football team half-composed of people who have never played a single game before can win against a team you've made a point of telling us is really good. I'M NOT, DAMMIT, I DON'T CARE HOW CUTE YOU MAKE IT.
and honestly, just, that scene was so utterly bloodless. it had a couple good lines, but out of those four people, the only one who seemed to have any genuine emotion toward any of the others was kurt towards blaine, in a background kind of way. not kurt towards, say, MERCEDES, or rachel. not either of them towards him. not either of them towards blaine, not that they'd be BFF with him but there was nothing, it was all just--dead air. it felt like they were cartoons being voiced by four people in four separate rooms, unaware of the others' existence. I mean--the plot and its machinations? really, really, REALLY not the reason i put up with this stupid show. the chemistry and feeling between the characters is its ONLY real draw. and they seem to be giving up on that, and it's not just this scene either.
finn's facepalm is the most beautiful facepalm i've ever seen. I AGREE COMPLETELY, FINN.
LAUREN ILU LAUREN MARRY ME PLEASE YOU ARE THE BEST THAT EVER WAS. in a pinch, i'll take ashley fink, if necessary. but really: LAUREN.
oh fuck my life, tina in football getup and scowling is the most insanely attractive thing i have seen all week. TINA BE BUTCH AND MEAN ALWAYS PLEASE. puck's concern and fondness for rachel is also pretty damn attractive, though not in the way where i ship them or anything, because lol no.
sexual magnetism not withstanding, however: i can't watch this. oh my god, i can't watch this, because there's still fifteen minutes left so it's clearly going to go terribly, terribly wrong.
i only support tina's desire to actually play for real because Glee is so utterly divorced from reality that it's probably going to turn out to be what saves them. and i kind of resent this show for making me think, "yeah, you jerks, why AREN'T you letting the untrained, unexperienced, physically unprepared people put themselves out there for angry 250-pound assholes to hurl themselves violently on top of?"
hmm. well, i admit, that was moderately more nuanced than i gave them credit for. (also i love tina so much i cannot even deal with it.) i'll suspend further judgment for the next five minutes and see what happens.
OMG, OMG, OMG, more finn and puck friendship/trust, MORE TOP GUN REFERENCES. i'm also delighted with finn's trust in sam and sam's "...whoa, okay" reaction to it. but not QUITE as delighted, because i don't spend nearly as much time imagining them in forever love with each other. (although, i mean, depending how the rest of the season goes. i'm always open to new pairings!)
"Sue doesn't care about you guys! She's fine killing Brittany!" reaction from the girls: small, solemn nods. and, awww, finn and quinn friendship moment! i hope to GOD the writers don't actually try and hook them up again, but i really, really love this kind of relationship that they're developing here. the one where finn can say, "I know you, and you're strong enough to do this," and it's not presumptuous or manipulative, just true. (however, i hope that wasn't supposed to be the promised brittana, because oh HELL no, you can't put me off with them just having lines in the same scene as each other.)
puck's motivational arguing with the rest of the team: not exactly a masterpiece of writing, but fine. and i always enjoy looking at his face. and azimio, of course, gets to be amazing again, because that is what he does.
KURT'S LITTLE DANCE IN THE STANDS. OH MY GOD YES. so, yeah, the whole karofsky-joining-in thing...not exactly subtle, but interesting. he still hasn't really made a CHOICE. he watched, he saw that people weren't laughing at them, and THAT made it okay to join in as he obviously wanted to. still doesn't mean anything for how he'll react when people are laughing at him.
obligatory moment of discontent: the guys' zombie makeup is fucking amazing. the girls' makeup is...not even the slightest bit gross, and entirely flattering. (except lauren, lauren gets to be a gross zombie because she has no sex appeal to preserve.)
i just can't figure out how i feel about this direction with karofsky. it's such an incredibly fine line to walk between examining his issues versus woobifying him and dismissing all the pain he's inflicted, and they're really wobbling back and forth on it.
BEING ALL WEIRD AND CONFUSING IS NOT A VALID FOOTBALL-WINNING STRATEGY.
so that Diane Sawyer interlude was, like, sue's dream sequence, right? RIGHT? it wasn't supposed to be real, right? LIE TO ME IF YOU MUST. what the damn hell.
NO NO NO NO NO NO NO NO NO JESUS CHRIST NO. QUINN REMOVE YOUR MOUTH FROM FINN'S IMMEDIATELY. fuck, i don't even know how he's going to react--i hit pause instantly--but i am so depressed and pissed off that they did this to quinn. that's such a goddamn copout from actually WRITING her as a PERSON. but no, she's a girl, her reaction to her ex being nice to her is to fall in love with him again, because that's what girls do. they don't have complex feelings and they don't have male friends they don't want to marry. they just fall in love. oh, and they cheat on their current boyfriends, because girls don't care about people's feelings when there is romance to be had. or about their own personal integrity. obviously.
god dammit, it was so close to ending on a good note, too. this FUCKING SHOW, seriously.
--and honestly, you know what else it is? every time karofsky's onscreen, no matter how 100% fantastic max adler is being, in the back of my mind i keep thinking "they chose to invent this storyline, foreground this minor character, and spend this time on him INSTEAD OF spending it on tina or mercedes or mike or santana, or even on something coherent and non-romantic for quinn or sam." and yeah, it's meant a ton of screentime for kurt, but it's not like this is the only storyline he could possibly have been given(like, he could have had one that WASN'T about being gay, idk, just throwing that out there). there were plenty of characters already there, most of them women and/or COC, who they just didn't even bother coming up with meaningful (or ANY) stories for. and knowing that kind of ruins everything.
FINAL ANALYSIS. things I will instaforget about this episode and erase from my canon:
1. kurt living at home, wtf, that makes absolutely zero sense. i will grant that he goes home on weekends, but only if that started after 2x09. i oppose this not just because it upsets all my ideas, but because it's STUPID, and raises all kinds of questions about why he's still being kept so isolated from the mckinley plots(and PEOPLE, mostly). Basically: this canon is stupid, and I refuse to acknowledge it. I feel like if more people took this approach (besides comics fandom, which has mastered it) fandom would be a happier place.
2. i WANT to erase quinn making a move on finn, but i suspect that's going to come up a lot. fuck.
3. sue being pointlessly insane even by sue standards. let the joke rest, guys. she doesn't actually want to KILL her students.
4. santana not sticking up for brittany even the tiniest bit(until quinn leads them in quitting).
5. FUCK, YOU GUYS, I really want to ignore quinn kissing finn, because i loved her SO MUCH this episode, she was just so amazing and funny and strong (but not cardboard cutout ~strong female character~, she was a PERSON) and also, i really really really wanted her and finn to be FRIENDS. i was hoping for it so hard, it could have been so epic. like, one of the show's best friendships ever. FUCKING FUCK, why do i let glee have my heart even for a moment, i should really know better.
things i will keep:
1. kurt bringing finn warm milk. but on the WEEKENDS. when he's not AT BOARDING SCHOOL.
2. although it kills me, finn's willingness to welcome karofsky and bro-hug him. it's disturbing but not exactly OOC(although not being willing also wouldn't have been OOC). finn wants people to get along, he wants things to work out, and while he is very emotionally intelligent a lot of the time he's also so naive, and has trouble imagining how other people might feel. plus, a fair amount of his anger at karofsky at the beginning of this episode is clearly--well, to me, i admit it doesn't make it out of subtext--finn projecting his feeling of failure to protect kurt or keep him from leaving(and perhaps his feeling of being rejected by kurt). so forgiving karofsky would make him feel better about himself.
3. karofsky's whole thing where, yes, he has all these sensitive emotions and they really do interest me, but the one feeling he doesn't seem to have even a little is GUILT. everything he feels is about himself and his fears and desires, there's so sign he even feels bad about what he did to kurt and everyone else. i think this is interesting, and makes a lot of sense, and i hope they don't forget about it.
4. eventually, when i see how the finn/quinn bullshit shakes out and how to go about pretending it didn't happen, i will be keeping their nascent friendship.
things i will mentally write that they NEVER BOTHERED TO FREAKING SHOW US:
1. rachel meeting blaine for the first time, come on, that should have been epic
2. burt and carole meeting blaine for the first time, SEE ABOVE
3. kurt's APPARENT previous coffee dates with mckinley friends, since this didn't seem to be a new thing, although i could totally play it as their first or second coffee date and everyone was just distracted by tragedy
4. kurt's reaction to karofsky joining the halftime show, and finn bro-hugging him, and basically to ALL OF THAT, you know, like maybe he might have a feeling or two about the situation? PERHAPS
4a. actually, you know what, since they made a point of highlighting that burt was there, how about HIS reaction to finn being buddies with karofsky? I THINK HE MIGHT HAVE A FEELING TOO.
ugh, ugh, WHY IS GLEE, WHY DO I WATCH THIS SHIT, why can't i escaaaaaaaape. also, why is glee fandom, which is already overflowing with "omg karofsky is so cuuuute and sexy"--i mean, it was even before this episode, but now people are acting like his decision to dance at halftime was some kind of step toward redemption, rather than a moment of private character development with absolutely ZERO bearing on any questions of atonement, forgiveness, or making up for what he's done.
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It took me awhile to realize this, since I basically watched the episodes backwards until I noticed it was just confusing me more and then I turned around and watched this season from the beginning, but even though he doesn't know about the kiss, he knows KAROFSKY THREATED TO FUCKING KILL KURT. And that RIGHT THE FUCK THERE is why I will NEVER FORGIVE FINN for this episode.
i cannot deal with mark salling's inability to act. it's like he somehow has less than none. he's an anti-actor, and obviously they've been giving puck less to do this season because they realized that if he ever comes in direct contact with a real actor, the universe will explode. (i still adore puck, of course. i like them big and stupid and not very realistic.)
A) HA, YES, I frequently have that exact last thought about Puck. He is basically one of my hot button types.
B) This just means Ashley Fink is so awesome her awesome expands to make Mark Salling's acting somewhat better, which is amazing.
C) I just laughed so hard it hurt.
i only support tina's desire to actually play for real because Glee is so utterly divorced from reality that it's probably going to turn out to be what saves them. and i kind of resent this show for making me think, "yeah, you jerks, why AREN'T you letting the untrained, unexperienced, physically unprepared people put themselves out there for angry 250-pound assholes to hurl themselves violently on top of?"
I really wanted the girls to get to do more because Glee HAS NO REALITY at all especially when it comes to football and so damn it all I'm left with when watching that episode is, haha, let the girls go back to the sidelines and be cheerleaders where they belong. WHAT THE HELL. Lauren flattened that fucker.
(There's a prompt on the fluff meme about Beiste trying to recruit Lauren. I have plans for that one.)
I also really wish it would have been anyone but Finn who went to talk to Santana, Brittany, and Quinn, because Finn REGULARLY has freakouts about wanting to be popular and being torn between football and glee, etc. HYPOCRITE MUCH, FINN? HELLO, HOW ABOUT MIKE? Yeah, okay, Mike doesn't have the same ~history with Santana and Quinn, but damn it, have we ever seen him waver since he joined glee? EVER? Or if you want someone with the EXACT SAME DAMN HISTORY, PUCK had, what, one moment of waver way back in the beginning and since has solidly stuck with glee? ANYONE BUT FINN, BASICALLY.
(ALSO, I thought they could barely play with the four glee girls. How did Finn just walk away then? HOW?)
I try not to expect much logic, but sometimes it gets to me.
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Which is not in the text, really, but it didn't feel douchey to me. Although, I mean, I really really adore Finn in theory, and I'm always trying to get Finn-in-practice to live up to his potential. Who knows.
I did want Lauren to stay on the field! But it felt sort of...like, when she stood up and was all "Girls can play football, I'm the wrestling champion," it felt like a super disingenuous move on the part of the show. Of course she can play tackle football, she's an athlete and she's physically able to stand up to the guys on the other team. The other girls aren't either of those things, and it was just such an annoying piece of TV-fake-feminism, because the guys' objections actually were legitimate.
I mean, the girls never get to school the guys about feminism on the many, many, MANY occasions it would be appropriate. Only when it's about being physically tough and ~girl power~ and they're ultimately proved wrong. So it just bugged. The whole scenario did, really, it was this stupid tangled mess of different levels of realism that just didn't work.