fifty frenchmen can't be wrong (![[personal profile]](https://www.dreamwidth.org/img/silk/identity/user.png)
some_stars) wrote2007-05-23 06:24 pm
some_stars) wrote2007-05-23 06:24 pm
Entry tags:
making my own eyes bleed as a public service since 2007
So hey! ![[livejournal.com profile]](https://www.dreamwidth.org/img/external/lj-userinfo.gif)
teh_no is being an assmonkey again! which generally I wouldn't pay any particular attention to aside from skimming the posts involved and snickering, but one comment he made in reply to someone's comment on his LJ just...caught my eye.
"Actually, most people join a community because it already reflects their interests, not because they expect it to shift to suit their interests. As danamaree pointed out, some people are merely uninterested in het or gen."
Which strikes me as somewhat weird, given that the canon they're following is generally het or gen.
It strikes him as weird, he says!
Oh, you stupid, stupid boy.
Now, I am hardly a seasoned connoisseur of his work, but I thought I recalled a few stories here and there that didn't exactly confine themselves to canonical boundaries of het or gen. So I went and browsed through his tags, and pulled some excerpts to demonstrate for anyone else who might be feeling a little confused exactly whatteh_no considers to be more reasonable interpretations of canon than us out-there girls and our nasty male/male porn.
Without warning, Jen shoved her entire fist into Karen’s pussy and quickly pulled it out again, heedless of the woman’s yelp/yell of combined surprise and pleasure. “SHE-HULK FUCK!”
After one of Nico’s more intense orgasms, Karolina pulled her cum-smeared face away and rested it on Nico’s thigh.
“Oh! Oh! Yes! Fuck yes! I’m your bitch!” Jessica called, the loudness making the water shudder. “Fuck me! Fuck your bitch!”
With that, Barbara licked his cockhead. Batman let out a deep groan as he came. His cock exploded cum against her face, covering her like a mask. Barbara had to close her eyes. When she opened them, his load dripped off her eyelashes.
"Toe-fuck my pussy, baby! Oh! Oh, honey, I do believe I'm gonna come!" Barbara moaned as she grabbed the changeling's foot by the heel, directing the movements of her toe inside her, fucking her pussy on the grinding, sliding hallux.
“Suck it. Suck it like a woman sucks a man,” Barbara growls and Cass remembers what Catwoman was doing in Batman’s lap and if it’s good enough for him, surely...
[...]
“Yeah, that’s it,” Barbara’s voice is equal parts glee and sadness. “That’s all you are, isn’t it? Just a hole, to be filled. That’s why Steph cheats on you. Because there’s nothing to cheat on. Just a warm body.”
Donna knew it was penetrating her now and she felt a rush of unbearable desire... so great it was almost painful; a desire to have a real cock ramming into her over and over again. She wanted nothing more than to have a man obliterate her, pound her into the bed, to be completely flattened beneath someone.
Donna gasped, confronted with the sudden sight of Wonder Woman’s cunt being stretched open by an invisible force, lewdly spread for her viewing pleasure like a fine buffet. Diana’s pussy was half-filled by the solid bulk of the aircraft. ...With a thought, the jet’s afterburners activated and it thrust all the way up her cunt. She moaned and growled as it penetrated her pussy once again, its nose budging her cervix and trying to go deeper, the rocket stuck fast inside her. Her cunt sucked wildly at the giant-sized dildo, holding it so possessively she thought she might not be able to get it out again.
To prove her devotion, she pulled Helena's pussy lips open again. "Te voy a comer el bistec!" Helena's pungent cunt was only inches from her panting mouth. She put her hands on Helena's hips, then leaned forward and sucked in a mouthful of her dripping labia.
Rogue snapped her fingers in disappointment. “I thought I’d be doing badly there. But it’s not my fault, ma’am! Biology’s very difficult! Like the female anatomy, I don’t understand one bit of it! Would you be willing to... teach me about the female anatomy?” She opened up her trenchcoat, revealing that underneath she was wearing nothing but a merry widow. “I hope you don’t mind what I’m wearing, it’s soooo hot outside... I couldn’t bear to wear anything over my underthings!”
They had switched positions. Cass was under Dinah now, locked together with her in 69, the Canary Cry continuing to do its brutally effective work. Cassandra Cain’s vagina was almost convulsing on its own, so steeped in pleasurable repetition was it. For her part, Cass used every bit of knowledge Steph had ever gave her on cunnilingus to show her mother’s girlfriend that it ran in the family.
Steph had eyes only for the turret, rising phallically from the innards of the Batmobile. She ran her lips across the rim of the nozzle, so big, so much warmer under her ministrations. ...At first it seemed that the shaft was too thick to fit into her, but it finally slid through her desire-lubricated pussy lips and about three inches up into her channel. It was the most incredible sensation she had ever felt in her life, an intense mingling of pain from the newly stretched cuntal muscles and relentless waves of indescribable pleasure that coursed endlessly over the entire length of her slender body.
Bart made a croaking sound and started coming. The hot jism foamed out of his cockhead, spurted and foamed out of his slit to fall on Catalina's hand. ...She never let go of his prick. She knew how to drain a man's nuts with her fingers. She continued pumping and stroking his prick until she was sure she had all the jism milked out of his balls. ...She loved the feel of his finger as he reamed her fuckhole. Her vagary was hot and swollen and her cuntjuice dribbled out on his finger and hand in a steady stream. ...Each time he pulled back, his cock-shaft rasped over her clit like a nail file and drove her wild.
So let's see, what is itteh_no is always saying he hates about female slash fandom? The obsessive focus on porn--no, couldn't be that. The random pairings with no basis in ca--oh, guess not. Hmm...the eroticization of unequal adult/teen sexual relationships? Not that either...oh, it was how we twist canon and write weirdo gay porn about shows and comics that don't contain anything of the sort, like I quoted at the beginning of this post!
*pause for snorting*
Of course, this is my fault, really. I know perfectly well I'm supposed to append "as long as it gets *me* off" to the end of all his arguments, like a good girl. It's the unspoken bargain of western civilization!!!
And just to forestall the really obvious criticism: There is nothing wrong with any of those excerpts--repeat for emphasis, there is nothing wrong with any of those excerpts, aside from the horrible writing. I have absolutely NO PROBLEM withteh_no writing filthy kinky lesbian/hetero porn in the style that he finds hottest. What I have a problem with is his complete refusal to admit that he is doing exactly the same thing as we are, and is no more faithful to canon than us, nor any less perverted. THAT is where the misogyny comes in--well, and I could go to town analyzing some of those excerpts, it's true, but a lot of my disgust is based on prior knowledge of teh_no, so to be fair I won't--but the misogyny comes in when he thinks, and tells us, that porn about female bodies and women getting fucked is Normal, and porn about male bodies and men getting fucked is Bizarre and Perverted. Most of all, what makes it clear he is a misogynist is that he perceives our disinclination to read his stories--ie, our mostly-refusal to put down the stories WE were writing, that were turning US on, and devote ourselves like well-behaved sexual objects to his preferences--is sexist. That's right: when a large group of women get together with each other to do something they all enjoy, and refuse to abandon that thing and pay loving attention to any man who whines at us, WE are being SEXIST.
I'm not even going to bother to deconstruct his assumptions and general creepiness further, because mostly this post is just about me reading that comment, snorting my eyeballs out, and when I recovered from the SIDESPLITTING LAUGHTER wanting to share my mirth. So go ahead, click on the cut tag, enjoy a hearty helping of faux-lesbian-fetishization, and vaginal-penetration-obsession, and--for some reason--the phrase "cuntal muscles."
(Seriously. Cuntal muscles. People who have been arguing withteh_no as if he were a reasonable human being, take note!)
teh_no is being an assmonkey again! which generally I wouldn't pay any particular attention to aside from skimming the posts involved and snickering, but one comment he made in reply to someone's comment on his LJ just...caught my eye."Actually, most people join a community because it already reflects their interests, not because they expect it to shift to suit their interests. As danamaree pointed out, some people are merely uninterested in het or gen."
Which strikes me as somewhat weird, given that the canon they're following is generally het or gen.
It strikes him as weird, he says!
Oh, you stupid, stupid boy.
Now, I am hardly a seasoned connoisseur of his work, but I thought I recalled a few stories here and there that didn't exactly confine themselves to canonical boundaries of het or gen. So I went and browsed through his tags, and pulled some excerpts to demonstrate for anyone else who might be feeling a little confused exactly what
teh_no considers to be more reasonable interpretations of canon than us out-there girls and our nasty male/male porn.Without warning, Jen shoved her entire fist into Karen’s pussy and quickly pulled it out again, heedless of the woman’s yelp/yell of combined surprise and pleasure. “SHE-HULK FUCK!”
After one of Nico’s more intense orgasms, Karolina pulled her cum-smeared face away and rested it on Nico’s thigh.
“Oh! Oh! Yes! Fuck yes! I’m your bitch!” Jessica called, the loudness making the water shudder. “Fuck me! Fuck your bitch!”
With that, Barbara licked his cockhead. Batman let out a deep groan as he came. His cock exploded cum against her face, covering her like a mask. Barbara had to close her eyes. When she opened them, his load dripped off her eyelashes.
"Toe-fuck my pussy, baby! Oh! Oh, honey, I do believe I'm gonna come!" Barbara moaned as she grabbed the changeling's foot by the heel, directing the movements of her toe inside her, fucking her pussy on the grinding, sliding hallux.
“Suck it. Suck it like a woman sucks a man,” Barbara growls and Cass remembers what Catwoman was doing in Batman’s lap and if it’s good enough for him, surely...
[...]
“Yeah, that’s it,” Barbara’s voice is equal parts glee and sadness. “That’s all you are, isn’t it? Just a hole, to be filled. That’s why Steph cheats on you. Because there’s nothing to cheat on. Just a warm body.”
Donna knew it was penetrating her now and she felt a rush of unbearable desire... so great it was almost painful; a desire to have a real cock ramming into her over and over again. She wanted nothing more than to have a man obliterate her, pound her into the bed, to be completely flattened beneath someone.
Donna gasped, confronted with the sudden sight of Wonder Woman’s cunt being stretched open by an invisible force, lewdly spread for her viewing pleasure like a fine buffet. Diana’s pussy was half-filled by the solid bulk of the aircraft. ...With a thought, the jet’s afterburners activated and it thrust all the way up her cunt. She moaned and growled as it penetrated her pussy once again, its nose budging her cervix and trying to go deeper, the rocket stuck fast inside her. Her cunt sucked wildly at the giant-sized dildo, holding it so possessively she thought she might not be able to get it out again.
To prove her devotion, she pulled Helena's pussy lips open again. "Te voy a comer el bistec!" Helena's pungent cunt was only inches from her panting mouth. She put her hands on Helena's hips, then leaned forward and sucked in a mouthful of her dripping labia.
Rogue snapped her fingers in disappointment. “I thought I’d be doing badly there. But it’s not my fault, ma’am! Biology’s very difficult! Like the female anatomy, I don’t understand one bit of it! Would you be willing to... teach me about the female anatomy?” She opened up her trenchcoat, revealing that underneath she was wearing nothing but a merry widow. “I hope you don’t mind what I’m wearing, it’s soooo hot outside... I couldn’t bear to wear anything over my underthings!”
They had switched positions. Cass was under Dinah now, locked together with her in 69, the Canary Cry continuing to do its brutally effective work. Cassandra Cain’s vagina was almost convulsing on its own, so steeped in pleasurable repetition was it. For her part, Cass used every bit of knowledge Steph had ever gave her on cunnilingus to show her mother’s girlfriend that it ran in the family.
Steph had eyes only for the turret, rising phallically from the innards of the Batmobile. She ran her lips across the rim of the nozzle, so big, so much warmer under her ministrations. ...At first it seemed that the shaft was too thick to fit into her, but it finally slid through her desire-lubricated pussy lips and about three inches up into her channel. It was the most incredible sensation she had ever felt in her life, an intense mingling of pain from the newly stretched cuntal muscles and relentless waves of indescribable pleasure that coursed endlessly over the entire length of her slender body.
Bart made a croaking sound and started coming. The hot jism foamed out of his cockhead, spurted and foamed out of his slit to fall on Catalina's hand. ...She never let go of his prick. She knew how to drain a man's nuts with her fingers. She continued pumping and stroking his prick until she was sure she had all the jism milked out of his balls. ...She loved the feel of his finger as he reamed her fuckhole. Her vagary was hot and swollen and her cuntjuice dribbled out on his finger and hand in a steady stream. ...Each time he pulled back, his cock-shaft rasped over her clit like a nail file and drove her wild.
So let's see, what is it
teh_no is always saying he hates about female slash fandom? The obsessive focus on porn--no, couldn't be that. The random pairings with no basis in ca--oh, guess not. Hmm...the eroticization of unequal adult/teen sexual relationships? Not that either...oh, it was how we twist canon and write weirdo gay porn about shows and comics that don't contain anything of the sort, like I quoted at the beginning of this post!*pause for snorting*
Of course, this is my fault, really. I know perfectly well I'm supposed to append "as long as it gets *me* off" to the end of all his arguments, like a good girl. It's the unspoken bargain of western civilization!!!
And just to forestall the really obvious criticism: There is nothing wrong with any of those excerpts--repeat for emphasis, there is nothing wrong with any of those excerpts, aside from the horrible writing. I have absolutely NO PROBLEM with
teh_no writing filthy kinky lesbian/hetero porn in the style that he finds hottest. What I have a problem with is his complete refusal to admit that he is doing exactly the same thing as we are, and is no more faithful to canon than us, nor any less perverted. THAT is where the misogyny comes in--well, and I could go to town analyzing some of those excerpts, it's true, but a lot of my disgust is based on prior knowledge of teh_no, so to be fair I won't--but the misogyny comes in when he thinks, and tells us, that porn about female bodies and women getting fucked is Normal, and porn about male bodies and men getting fucked is Bizarre and Perverted. Most of all, what makes it clear he is a misogynist is that he perceives our disinclination to read his stories--ie, our mostly-refusal to put down the stories WE were writing, that were turning US on, and devote ourselves like well-behaved sexual objects to his preferences--is sexist. That's right: when a large group of women get together with each other to do something they all enjoy, and refuse to abandon that thing and pay loving attention to any man who whines at us, WE are being SEXIST.I'm not even going to bother to deconstruct his assumptions and general creepiness further, because mostly this post is just about me reading that comment, snorting my eyeballs out, and when I recovered from the SIDESPLITTING LAUGHTER wanting to share my mirth. So go ahead, click on the cut tag, enjoy a hearty helping of faux-lesbian-fetishization, and vaginal-penetration-obsession, and--for some reason--the phrase "cuntal muscles."
(Seriously. Cuntal muscles. People who have been arguing with
teh_no as if he were a reasonable human being, take note!)