why must everything be ad absurdum?

[some_stars]

...I think the breastfeeding/infant discussion is completely ridiculous, though. YOU CAN'T BRING YOUR BABIES EVERYWHERE. Just wait a year or two, for fuck's sake. I mean, choosing to breastfeed only and without pumping is an awesome choice, but it's a CHOICE that you make that has CONSEQUENCES. You can't bring your baby to a fucking bar, either.

clarification: I am 1000% in favor of breastfeeding in public and I think it should be allowed in every place babies are allowed. I just don't think everywhere in the entire world needs to allow babies.

Comments

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[some_stars]

I'm very sorry I hurt you, and I know this post was phrased pretty badly. But I was so offended that people were making this an issue of accessibility, because I don't think it is(and I was overly frustrated by the people being judgmental about mothers who don't breastfeed exclusively).

I am actually completely in favor of supporting breastfeeding in public, and I strongly dislike "childfree" people's efforts to make the world, well, child-free. I think children belong in public, most of the time. But not all the time, and not everywhere. I think the desire to have a purely adult space isn't a bad one. Also, there is a reasonable expectation that a baby will eventually stop needing its mother for food, while there isn't that a person will get over a disability.

I'm sure you're still angry, and I'm really sad about that--I am, but I don't know what else to say. I do wish I had phrased myself better without giving in to anger, so that I had hurt you less.

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[(Anonymous)]

This comment brings up another really interesting question:

How do we protect everybody from the raving freakshows who are clearly going to be showing up at the con without warning-badges telling the rest of us to back away slowly and not make any sudden movements?

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[(Anonymous)]

You might want to cut back on the ablist language.

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[some_stars]

Okay, freezing now. Seriously, go away.

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[some_stars]

Dude, you're such an incoherent troll I can't even tell who you're insulting here. Go away, regardless.

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[some_stars]

(Regarding the judgmental people, it was the discussion here that upset me. "Why should we penalize the people who are making the right choice for their babies?" "Oh, it's okay if a woman doesn't breastfeed, she'll realize later how wrong she was." Bad stuff.)

I definitely wasn't aware of the pain-for-the-mother issue, that does complicate things. But on the whole, I just don't think that people wanting to create and be in an adults-only social space is a bad thing. I think those spaces should be, not the norm, certainly, but respected. And I don't think there's anything wrong with wanting to watch a vid "in absolute silence"--that's the whole point of the con!

Basically, I just don't think that having a baby is an issue of disability accessibility that always trumps other considerations(the way disabled access does), because there are some places that babies don't belong, whereas there's nowhere that a disabled adult doesn't belong. That isn't in any way a judgment on the mothers of those babies.

I wanted to reply quickly so you'd know I heard you, but I will definitely be thinking about what you've said; I value your opinion on this, as most things, very highly. I'm sorry for not modulating my initial post better to reflect more my actual opinion and have less hurtful language, and forgetting that you might be hurt by it.

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[maevele]

so is the whole hotel childfree for the con then? Because I would probably just have my partner or a friend hang out at the hotel room with the baby, and nurse the baby in between vid shows, etc, if they're old enough to go an hour or so between feeds, like a ten month old. Idk, I've only ever gone to a really family friendly con where I brought babies with to panels. to be on panels even, so I don't know how an adults only con works.


And I don't get how a ten month old isn't going to be disruptive, compared to a (non colicky) newborn. Actually, my last baby was kinda colicky, so for several months I couldn't go anywhere where people needed relative peace and quiet.