fifty frenchmen can't be wrong (![[personal profile]](https://www.dreamwidth.org/img/silk/identity/user.png)
some_stars) wrote2013-09-21 10:38 pm
some_stars) wrote2013-09-21 10:38 pm
(no subject)
idk i need to just make a big long stupid post behind a cut tag with all my DA2 feelings and the fic(s) I want to write, maybe that would calm me down so i can 1.) not play so obsessively and 2.) actually enjoy myself when i play instead of counting how many hours until i finish it, and making sure i experience ALL THE THINGS and arrange everything EXACTLY SO. see, this is what happens when i go off on my own and join fandoms without my friends. without people to offload my emotions onto i just....simmer, into a thick crazy stew.
ugh, i just, i really can't stand most of my non-school life right now? and school is hard and everything else is REALLY hard and i literally can't imagine a future in which i keep this apartment clean, like i don't--how is that going to happen. it cannot possibly. i don't have it in me. how do people do that it is literally impossible. everything gets so dirty and it happens the instant you finish cleaning, and if you don't spend a lot of time on it EVERY single day the filth expands exponentially and then there's piles and piles and then you just want to die, right? no? is that just me? because i do i cannot stand this one more day.
so if i could just chill out and write some fic and be happy and not waste 36 hours on unhappy gaming that would be really nice. why am i even like this, whose stupid idea was that :(
ugh, i just, i really can't stand most of my non-school life right now? and school is hard and everything else is REALLY hard and i literally can't imagine a future in which i keep this apartment clean, like i don't--how is that going to happen. it cannot possibly. i don't have it in me. how do people do that it is literally impossible. everything gets so dirty and it happens the instant you finish cleaning, and if you don't spend a lot of time on it EVERY single day the filth expands exponentially and then there's piles and piles and then you just want to die, right? no? is that just me? because i do i cannot stand this one more day.
so if i could just chill out and write some fic and be happy and not waste 36 hours on unhappy gaming that would be really nice. why am i even like this, whose stupid idea was that :(