(no subject)

doing a little better--no drugs so far today (legal or otherwise) and i'm managing and not throwing up, which is nice. i did manage to do some writing, mostly prompt fills unrelated to my WIPs but also i'm officially Close to finishing the kidfic, meaning probably 2000 more words until a decent first draft. (if you want to read the short prompt fills they are here!)

i've been feeling very useless bc i tried to give blood and got turned down for low iron, and i can't go shopping for others or take on other high risk tasks bc i live with my elderly parents, and i can't donate money, and i can't sew (although a very kind and lovely friend has bought me a sewing machine with a finger guard, to get around my recurring intrusive thoughts of being unable to keep from sticking my hand directly under the needle, so if there is still need in a week and a half when it arrives then i guess i'll start learning). i do not feel like i am Contributing to Society right now. i mean, i never am, but i usually don't care bc usually the force trying to make me feel guilty is capitalism, which is bullshit. but right now it's socialism and caring about other people, which is not.