Apr. 11th, 2013

some_stars: (snake with robot arms holding a shoe)
Oh dang has it seriously been two weeks since I last posted? Apparently! Well, I am alive, and doing reasonably well if not great. Absolutely nothing of note has occurred; all I do right now is chatter about Les Mis with people and work on relearning Hebrew and slog through this awful middle school U.S. history textbook, god it's terrible. And reload Tumblr a lot. I can't even watch TV, it requires too much concentration. Or something. So everything is extremely boring right now, hence the silence. There is probably no point whatsoever to posting this but I figured I would just check in and mention my continued existence.
some_stars: (hearing the whir of the servos inside)
oh my god you guys, I just found Cosmopolitan's online listing of exciting new sex positions, and it is AMAZING. You really have to see the pictures to truly appreciate it (they're all cartoons but it's still pretty NSFW), but I will share some of my favorite bits anyway:

"The key to your pleasure is keeping your limbs as limp as a noodle."

"Arrange a big pile of pillows on the floor and fall into it face first."

"Holding his hands, extend your arms out to your sides and lift your torso like a snake ready to strike."

"Find a reclining lawn chair or bench, or line up three backless chairs."

"Make sure to lift his legs when they swing around over your head."

"The aroma of wet grass boosts your sense of smell, making this a supersensory experience."

"Next, he starts alternately crossing and spreading your legs like scissors, opening and closing as he thrusts."

"Do it right and you two will look like a multilimbed lust creature."

"He can prop himself up on his forearms if he doesn’t want to get his hair full of sand."

--I was going to keep going, but actually I don't think anything can top that.

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